VIRGINIA IRONSIDE: "...if I was a mother of a suffering child, I would be the first to want—I mean, a deeply suffering child—I would be the first to want to put a pillow over its face, and I think that the difference is that my feeling of horror at suffering is much greater than my feeling of, uh, getting rid of a couple of cells, because suffering can go on for years..."
TALK SHOW HOSTESS: "I'm—I'm sorry, I was just about to introduce another guest, but that was a pretty horrifying thing—"
VIRGINIA IRONSIDE: "What?"
TALK SHOW HOSTESS: "—to say, that you would put a pillow over..."
VIRGINIA IRONSIDE: "Of course I would, if it was a child I really loved and it was in agony. I think any good mother would."
Now, I understand that this video presents an ethical argument similar to that which a family must decide for an elderly or terminally ill patient. Many young people I've come in contact with will say, "If it gets to the point that I am suffering and I can no longer speak or understand, I would want someone to pull the plug." They may change their minds when they get older. In a way, maybe our society of luxury thinks too highly and too selfishly of life in general. However, regardless of the arguments, a baby has not made such a choice any more than it makes the choice to be baptized Catholic.
But that's not the direction I want to take here. The woman above says that she would murder out of love. One can rape out of love, too. You know, the father who "loves his daughter so much" and has a "special relationship with her." You hear about it on the news all the time. Or the woman who falls in "love" with her captor. Is it really love, or is it a defense mechanism against the pain of victimization? And what about the woman who is exceedingly loyal to her abusive, alcoholic, or drug-addicted husband, protecting his reputation left and right? Is it really love if she becomes an enabler instead of doing the truly loving thing, which is standing up and challenging him to change, even if it hurts?
My point is that many things can parade as love and they are not love, no matter how convinced the person is that it is. If it harms the other person or involves sin, it is not love. "Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:6)
One surprisingly weird example of falling in love with a captor is Beauty and the Beast. While there are good messages throughout the movie, the overtone of a perfectly intelligent woman falling in love with her captor just throws me for a loop. Yeah, I guess he does let her go and she comes back on her own volition, but girls do that in real life too, and it's not pretty. The biggest positive I can glean from that movie is that it really took a special kind of girl to love the Beast, and Belle fit those shoes. She was up for the challenge, and that makes her a noble princess.
Another weird example is the millions of English-speaking girls who are being led to believe that an abusive and adulterous relationship between Edward and Bella is "vampire love" and is to be desired. (Also, if you're a girl about the age when you would be reading Twilight, you may want to heed my warning and just skim over or skip the next paragraph.)
This also brings into question our sexual culture. We no longer equate sex with love. We call it a game, as if we can leave a person's house the next morning saying, "Bye, thanks for playing! It was fun!" And no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that that's true, it still comes to bite us in the butt, doesn't it? Love is no longer a factor. If you're a guy, take one look (not right now, but remember) at porn. Is there any love there? I didn't think so. If you ever tried to do any of that stuff to your wife, you'd probably end up like this guy. And abuse is never love.
But alas. We say we want true love, but true love is just so boring without some sin stirred in the mix, isn't it? We need to seriously rethink what love is in this culture. The last time I read the Ten Commandments, murder was a sin. As was adultery, or coveting your neighbor's wife, etc. The list can go on. Just read into what God's heart is when he makes these rules. You may begin to see a side of God that you never saw before.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
What about you? Can you think of any more examples of things that parade as love but are not love?